Inner Resistance: What It Is and How To Fight On

 

The farmers market in downtown Waco, TX. (Source: Waco Downtown Farmers Market.)

For almost a year, I worked a few Saturdays a month at our local farmers market, running a booth for my neighbor, a talented seamstress who makes scrunchies, neckties, dog bandanas, and baby bibs. The gig was a fun change from sitting on the computer all day. I got to watch people, pet dogs, and make some extra cash. I also got to watch a dismal parking lot in downtown Waco, Texas, be transformed into a human-centric third place every week and daydream about ways to make Waco’s downtown even more walkable and people-centered. 

In particular, I would mull on the challenge of traffic and parking, the Achilles’ heel to many farmers markets. These kinds of markets draw more people to downtown, but most people arrive by car, creating a need for parking. In Waco, most people simply don’t live downtown, so there are few options for accessing the market without a car. But it’s not impossible. On days I wasn’t working, I could easily bike to the market in seven minutes from my home in the Sanger Heights neighborhood. 

This got me thinking: What if we organized an event around biking to the farmers market to show more people who live close by that they can bike there, and to downtown, in general? 

After sitting on the idea for several months, I decided it was time to finally get going. I reached out for coffee to the market director and we met up to brainstorm. I left the meeting with a list of action steps but also with a sinking sensation in the bottom of my stomach. 

This is what I refer to as the “ick.” That feeling of dread that creeps in when contemplating a risky undertaking. In his book The War of Art, Stephen Pressfield puts it more eloquently: Resistance, he writes, is a pernicious psychological force which, if uncontested, will undermine our most meaningful goals. Resistance shows up in a variety of ways: self-sabotage, imposter syndrome, self-doubt, perfectionism, anxiety, and procrastination. Succeeding at the creative journey involves turning inward, identifying the nature of your inner resistance, and facing it head on. 

I suspect my nervousness, the dread in my stomach, was all resistance. The irrational fear, the desire to shrink away, the temporary consideration that maybe this was a bad idea…it fits the pattern that Pressfield warns about, in that the more you care about something, the heavier resistance you will feel. I don’t think I’m alone in this. I suspect many of us care about our cities, but when it comes to taking action, “something” pops up that drains us of energy, fills us with fear, and makes us rethink the whole thing. 

When it comes to improving our cities, there’s plenty for resistance to feed on. Whether it's the intimidating, complicated nature of city government, the fear about not being taken seriously (after all, citizens aren’t “experts”), or the confounding processes that govern how change happens, city advocacy can be a minefield of discouragement and anxiety.

So what’s to be done? Here are a few tips.

First, be specific.

Be specific about your values, vision and goal. What motivates you, what kind of change do you want to contribute to, how exactly do you want to change where you live?  Perhaps more importantly, be specific about the nature of your resistance and how it will show up. Maybe it will look like perfectionism. Or perhaps you will have to face a uniquely heavy weight of procrastination. For some, it’s over-thinking, while others struggle with crippling self-doubt. In short, know your enemy.  

Second, know how you will seek to escape resistance.

The battle against resistance can be exhausting. How are you tempted to cope? When it comes to being involved in our cities, the overwhelming list of potential negative experiences can be enough to drive us under the covers. It’s so much easier to reach for the TV remote or our favorite iPhone app. It’s easier to throw ourselves into work, convinced we’ll go to that city council meeting next week. These are all forms of escapism; know yours. 

Finally, create structures and systems.

Create structures and systems for consistent “work,” whatever that looks like for you. It might mean showing up to a dedicated place at a consistent time. It might look like having friends and family keep you accountable. Maybe it involves a combination of activities, each of which need their own goals and productivity system. Find a way to translate your civic goals into a series of smart goals that can be measured and tracked each week. 

Pressfield makes a compelling case for contemplating on the “unlived life,” the life that you could have lived if you had faced resistance. This might at first sound like self-motivational mumbo jumbo and I grant that it might assume an unrealistic level of control over life. But the principle is compelling: What will life look like if we constantly reach for Netflix instead of doing The Work? More importantly, what might our cities look like if we give into resistance and escapism? Perhaps our courageous action is the bridge our communities need to experience a new vision of life. Don’t let resistance rob you or your city of that possibility.